The Dynamics of Who You Are.
Oftentimes the question “who are you “have been thrown at us. But due to the human wish for relevance, we have answered this question based on: our financial status, educational background, social circle and sometimes we have chosen to be passive—accept the definition that the world gave us.
Who you are spans way beyond what you do or what the world say about you. Who you are is a measure of how you do what you do. The knack of confusing who you are for what you do is understandable, because the mind where the knowledge of one’s self comes from is fluid. So to have a good understanding of one’s true personality requires a lot of concentration. Personal discovery is a continuous process but not a lifelong process. Who we really are has to do more with what we do unconsciously than what we do consciously.
Over the years, I have heard people say the words “anger issues” and because of the word “issues” I viewed anger from a wrong perspective. I had the opinion that anger is more like a disease and not an emotion that comes with a particular state of the mind. I became very passive up to the extent that when people hurt me, I apologize. Now, I know it is the Christian thing to do but I am not sure my passivity had anything to do with my Christian faith. But I know it had everything to do with the fact that I didn’t want to be called angry or bitter. After apologizing I usually walk away sad. Why? Because the apologies were fake and naturally I am a very real person.
Did my passivity stop the hurt? No, instead it grew worse, why? Because they knew that the apologies were a fake.
People have the propensity to know when you are being real and when you are faking it. So, I stopped and allowed my intuition to give me the right definition of the word “anger”. I realized that anger is a state of the mind that everybody experiences once in a while but ironically, people seem to frown at it.
Please, do not mistake anger here for violence, no, never. Violence on its own is a sign of weakness, helplessness, a sign that you are not in control of the situation.
Every weapon you need to survive in this world is all there on the inside of you all you need do is, dig deeper. Anger in this article represents a personality trait and for every personality God created, there is a purpose.
Do you know that angry people are achievers? Some people achieve something only when they get really angry at their current state of little or no achievement. In other words, to some people anger equals seriousness.
Another personality that I want to look at is the personality that I call the “basket mouth personality”. These people enjoy hearing the sound of their own voice more than any other sound in the world; they always have a story to tell, they talk more and listen less. Some people find these kinds of people very annoying, why? Because everybody would like to be listened to– Everybody talks
The point I am trying to make here is that if you look closely enough, you would see just a bit of that flaw in the other person in you. And maybe you would stop ‘judging’ and learn to accept everybody just the way they are.
If you have this personality that people term a “personality disorder” then why don’t you make an order from this “disorder”. How? As long as the words you say are not obscenities then somebody, somewhere would love to hear it.
Whatever story you have to tell—happy or sad, real or fictional, you have an audience, somewhere.
So, grab a pen, a paper and get to work! Write that story, publish it and let the people who actually want to hear it, buy it. That big mouth of yours could actually be the niche that God has carved out for you.
When I wake up in the morning, my only resolution is to live my life in such a way that at the end of the day, I could look myself in the mirror and say, ’no regrets’. In other words, I live my life as an exclamation not as an explanation.
An ancient Greek poet, Pinders wrote “become who you are by learning who you are” what he meant is the following: you are born with a particular make up and tendencies that mark you as a piece of fate. It is who you are to the core. Some people never become who they are. They stop trusting in themselves, they conform to the taste of others and they end up wearing a mask that hides their true nature. If you allow yourself to learn who you really are by paying attention to that voice and force within you, then you can become what you are fated to become—an individual, you.
Should you find yourself in an environment or field where you need to create a pseudo personality, then create the perfect persona for yourself, one that suits your career path.
The thing is, the things we find most difficult in life,like: brutal criticism and sabotage could be our strongest arsenal if well-managed.
However, your world—strengths and weaknesses, are only a minute part of the entire world—critics. But apparently, what you need to conquer is not just yourself—your insecurities, but the whole world—baseless criticism. So, sometimes you may need to step outside of yourself—become emotionally detached from yourself, and see yourself through the eyes of other people.
The point of stepping outside of yourself, is not so that you could change who you are completely or conform to the standards set by the world, but to see the weak-link in your character that is probably oblivious to you but very visible to the eyes others, then strengthen it.
Ps: this article is not about encouraging bad habit, but it’s about freedom, freedom to live, freedom to express yourself and most importantly freedom to be you. Because if you are not yourself then who are you?