What do you do when your parents won’t stop messing with your nap?
“I hate you!, I hate you right back”, “I want you out of this house, this is my house too so I am not going nowhere”. Those were the words of Alice’s Parents arguing at 5: am in the morning.
Alice groaned, yawned and twisted in bed. She had to defy every nerve in her body urging her to go back to sleep. How could she go back to sleep with all that noise and unprintable word oozing from the next room? She slid out of bed and with unsteady feet, left the room.
Standing in-between her parents, telling them to stop disturbing the peace of the entire neighborhood had become a norm for the Alice.
Going down memory lane, Alice could recall her first year in college, how she had got a call from her neighbor narrating the nasty display of obscenity by her parents when they engaged in a brawl in broad day light which got them arrested by the police for public misconduct.
That was the story of Alice. But it is my guess that this is also the story of a lot of people—both young and old, today.
The home is supposed t o be a place of solitude, rest and comfort but it’s so sad that some homes have become a battlefield.
Parents’ feud could really mess with ones mine and mental health. So, I have listed below a couple of things you could do if you find yourself in the middle of parents’ feud or fight.
Walk to the scene; do not race to the scene.
This means is to approach the scene of the fight with caution and soberness. When we are racing towards something, in that moment we are in a state of anxiety and anxiousness. Under that condition, we can make rash and irrational decisions.
Approaching the scene of a fight between your parents with all that hot blood could make you pick up an object and cause bodily harm to either parent. Doing that will not put an end to the end to the fight but will be the beginning of it. I recall a story i read in one of the dailies about a boy who shot his father in the head because he wouldn’t stop beating his mother.
Try to get the angriest person out of the room.
Some people have tried to break up a fight and got hurt or hurt someone in the process. so, when you are trying to break up a fight keep your temper under control. Get the angriest person out of the room and take him or her to some place quieter with a good source of amusement e.g. the movies or a sports bar. Whilst there, try not to talk about what had happened. Focus on having a good time.
Check into a hotel or go stay with a relative for a few day. This would give both parents time to calm down and also prep them for a resolution.
Call the other parent at home.
Do not make the other parent feel neglected or uncared for. Call him or her as often as you can afford to. No matter who you think is the problem, always remember that your feuding parents are people who used to love each other but now, things are falling apart. Definitely, they are both having a hard time. So try to be there for both of them.
When the dust settles a bit, have a heart to heart with both parents.
Now, this part could be a little overwhelming because emotions could run wild and things could get out of hand. But this is the most important part of this article. This is the part where you let both parents know—in the most respectful way, that this is not just about them, it’s about you too. Vent your frustrations. Let them know that what they are doing is affecting your mental well-being. It’s about time they had a resolution and state where they stand with each other.
When an inside dialogue yields no good, involve an outsider.
The above dialogue session should suffice if your parents are quite rational. But if they are not then I think this is the part where you invite an outside help. Though I am not an enthusiast of this approach because I believe that what goes on the family should stay in the family. But how do you define a family? A family is not about whose blood you carry, it’s about whom you love and who loves you. So, look for those people that genuinely have your family’s interest at heart. It must not be a relatives but someone whom your parents respect.
When all dialogue fails, get them a divorce lawyer.
There are some couples who have no business being together or a couple and until such couple separates, there will always be irreconcilable differences. I am not a crusader of divorce but the truth is that some married couples failed to do their ‘home work’ during courtship. They failed to ask themselves certain questions like: what would it be like to wake up every day, for the rest of my life, to the idiosyncrasies of this person?
Some couples did not even court at all. Arranged marriages happen every day.
Marriage can be overwhelming when you are sure of your partner before marriage but when you are not sure, it can be mind blowing.
If they won’t get a divorce, leave.
If you do this, rest assured, you will get a lot backlash form people but believe when i say that this backlash will come people who just don’t get it. They will call you names like insensitive, unfeeling etc. but the truth is that, you are a human being with dreams and goals. Time and tide waits for no one. The earlier you left, went into the world and joined the hustle, the better.
Pray for them.
What more can you do for your family at this point than to pray for your family. Ask God to restore the peace and love that once radiated in home. I believe that no couple started fighting from day one. Whatever was broken could still be mended with prayers. Call your parents from time to time. Let them know that you love them no matter what.
HiExtenters, is something missing? Let us know in the comments below.